Cleveland Sports

2005-11-20T18:25:00.000-05:00

A Grand Ol' Sports Weekend

Friday: I bust Pete Wilson's and John Wilson's ass in Madden. *Hint* Dante Hall will return a kickoff to the house 75% of the time.
Saturday: Ohio State comes back to squash Michigan in Ann Arbor. Troy Smith really impressed me with his composure and Pittman(25) is a grown man. Tressel improves to 4-1 against the wolverines. This is why he got over 400 write-in votes for president of the U.S. in the '04 election. Ohio loves this guy. They better get a BCS bowl outta this. Cavs get a big W in Philly. LeBron drops a triple double and Hughes lights it up with 37 as the boys get their 7th straight win. I would be really excited about this, but they still have a bunch of defensive issues they need to address. UD closes out its season with a win over Villanova. Nice ending to a disappointing season.
Sunday: Browns shutout Dolphins 22-0. Reuben went off for 166 and a touch. My favorite player on the Browns, Terrelle Smith(42), also got a touchdown. You'll never see someone happier and fired up to play football than Smith. My fantasy team is finally putting up some numbers despite my inability to pick the right starters.

Quick Hits

Iron Hill sucks. Would it kill them to hire one more bartender? And not just one more bartender, but one more competent bartender.
Laguna ended last monday. Predictably sappy episode. Next season should be interesting with an entirely new cast. The more seasons this show runs, the more pathetic and perverted I become. LC has her own spin-off show which is following her around L.A. as she tries to become more famous. Do I hear Playboy? Lets hope.
Larry King Live and The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch have cracked my top 10 TV shows. I never thought I would start enjoying what my grandparents watch.
Someone give me a job.
I refuse to put a weather related icon on this blog. If you want to know what the weather is like, get off the computer and go outside.
I also refuse to put a "counter" on this blog. It will only lead to depression.
Juelz's new CD comes out this Tuesday Nov. 22. Go get 27 copies.
I ran a 5k on Saturday. I hadn't run more than 100 yards in over a year. My legs will be in traction for the next week.
This is my last mandatory post, but due to popular demand I will continue to update this shitty blog as often as possible.

2005-11-11T17:13:00.000-05:00

Back to the sports bitches! Next topic!

Quick note on the T.O. hoopla and then I'm done with it. Drew Rosenhaus is a lot smarter than people think. Realizing his client was getting totally dogged and risking his playing career with a future organization, Rosenhaus stepped into the "apology" press conference and took the spot light off of T.O. See, Rosenhaus realizes that it doesn't matter what people think of him, but it does matter what other teams think of T.O. He strategically took heat that should've been directed toward Owens in order to salvage what was left of his client. So far, Drew has not made a dime from T.O. But by making himself out as the bad guy, Rosenhaus has allowed other teams to rationalize why they should sign Owens. Then he'll see his money. Prediction? Rhein Fire signs T.O. for $1.2 million Euros.
Ohio State dominates in win over Northwestern, moving up to 7th in the BCS. Good tune up for the showdown with the "team up north." Most people don't realize how big this rivalry is. In my opinion, it's the biggest in sports, hands down. In addition to its rich history, every year it ends up deciding the fate of the Big Ten title. Classic Woody Hayes story thats had many interpretations: On a recruiting trip in Michigan, Woody and an assistant coach ran out of gas 8 miles from the Ohio border. Woody got out and proceeded to walk 10 miles to the nearest Ohio gas station...passing by two Michigan gas stations along the way. Get 'em Bucks!
We're over half way through the NFL season. The Browns need to start working on some things if they want to get to the post season. My Super Bowl prediction? Chargers over Eagles. Keep in mind my prediction at the start of the season was Pats over Falcons. We'll see how things play out.
LeBron becomes the youngest player to reach 4,000 points. You know you're getting old when one of the top 3 players in the NBA is over a year younger than you are. On a side note, LeBron did personally invite me to his 21st birthday party at the Palms. If you need tix, just let me know. 18 to get busy, 21 to get dizzy...or you might like this analogy....18 to chill, 21 to spill.
The cops with their new "zero tolerance" policy are ridiculous. If I wasn't 21, I would seriously consider transferring schools. How has Newark law enforcement still failed to realize that the UD students aren't beating each other up? It's the waste of life town-balls that chill in the Burger King parking lot just dying to get in a fight that are the problem. This should be the new policy: Cop enters house party. Checks to see everyone's student ID regardless of age. No ID, no party. Problem solved. I should be mayor.

2005-11-05T15:44:00.000-05:00

We're going vice versa from last week and discussing non-sports related topics. Yummy!

I missed my first episode of D.H. since the shows inception. And I don't care. That's a tell tale sign if a show isn't good anymore, not caring that you missed it and not being worried about catching up before next weeks episode. Hell, I get mad when I miss Seinfeld re-runs on TBS and Fox. "If you want the leg room, say you want the leg room. Don't blame the mechanism!"....respond with the name of the Seinfeld character and the episode and you'll win a box of Q-tips and a can of Barbasol.
I was listening to the River 94.7's morning show the other day and John had an excellent take on Knight Rider. Just to refresh everyone's memory, Knight Rider was the show with the always sexy David Hasselhoff and his high-tech car Kitt. Now that you've all conjured up bad memories from Jr. High, we'll continue. Almost once an episode, Michael Knight and Kitt met up with their 18-wheeler maintenance van that basically served as a mobile command post. They met by means of traveling 70 mph on the interstate as Kitt would drive up a ramp that lowered down near the road. Here's the question. How the hell does Kitt not just take off and blast through the front of the truck's cab as soon as the front wheels hit the ramp? Think about it...initially both the 18-wheeler and Kitt are traveling at the same speed relative to the road, but as soon as Kitt's wheels hit the ramp, Kitt is now traveling relative to the 18-wheeler's ramp. Therefore, Kitt should absolutely blow through the truck, leaving Michael paralyzed from the neck down. I know many people will say how Kitt wasn't an ordinary car and that in addition to its flamethrowers and ability to talk, it could easily drive itself up a ramp. Screw that, you can't fool physics.
New Juelz joint out. Fire! Listen here. Click on Rumble Young Man Rumble. Dipset!
My latest TV picks: Grey's Anatomy is always a winner. Creative writing and storylines every week and a somewhat realistic look into a hospital. Plus, Meredith Grey/Ellen Pompeo/Chick from Old School, makes you feel that you might actually have a chance of hooking up with her. The Office is the leading comedy. It's so stupid, but that's what makes it so funny. Laguna's season finale is tonight. Not much has happened recently, except Jason is further solidifying himself as a total moron pimp. The kid can barely speak in complete sentences yet he's hustling the nicest pieces of ass all around Laguna. I'm proud of LC for not taking him back, even though I think she was waiting for him to frantically apologize so she could have an excuse.
If a lady friend, that you might have a shot with, Facebooks you, what is the proper wait time to confirm her as a friend? Confirm too soon and you may look desperate but too late and you might come off as inattentive. 6-8 days? Give me your thoughts.

2005-10-30T18:55:00.000-05:00

Switching it up this week. All sports related topics. No B.S.

Tribe exercises 2006 option on Ronnie Belliard. Great move, love this guy. You can make all the fat jokes in the world, but he's becoming one of the better all-around 2nd basemen in the league.
If you're a USC or Texas fan, start making hotel/air arrangements for Pasadena.
Total boner call in the UF vs. Vandy game. The ref needed to take into account the relevance of the play at the moment of the game. Plus, Vandy hasn't won in the Swamp in over 50 years. Plus, it's kids playing football. Let em play.
Duke is preseason #1 for hoops. UNC and Kansas not in the top 25. My pick to win it all?....'Nova.
T.O. suspended for the rest of the year. There has never been anyone in the history of sports to put himself above the game and his teammates like this guy.
Omar Vizquel wins his 10th Gold Glove with SF Giants. Ozzie Smith has been on record to say he doesn't think Omar should be in the HOF. Blow it out you know what, Ozzie. His stats (fielding and hitting) are better than yours and he still managed to make three all-star games while having to compete against Cal, A-Rod, Jeter, Nomar, and Tejada (4 of them will be in the HOF). Ozzie's strongest competition? Hubie Brooks and Rafael Ramirez .
Pats v. Colts tonight. I got NE by 3 at the buzzer. Thank me later.
Looks as thought the Cavs may become the Suns of the East. Score a lot of points, then get confused on defense. The only difference is the Cavs lose those games, while the Suns win them.
The Blue Jackets have the second to last amount of points (8) in the overall NHL standings. The good news? They're not last in their division because the Blues only have 7. The glass is always half full boys and girls.
I got my first fantasy win last week. Thanks to everyone who sent me a congratulatory email.
The Browns got their first rushing touchdown since Ernest Byner and beat the Titans. Pop the Mo'.

2005-10-24T19:20:00.000-04:00

Happy Halloween
What's scarier than Saw II? The first half grade I got for this blog. Apparently vulgarity and obscenity can only take you so far. NEXT!

Sorry about the picture, it was the scariest one I could find.
Speaking of Halloween...what's up with 99% of girls costumes? You either fall in three categories...1) Cat/Mouse/Bunny/Some "cute" animal 2) the Good vs. Evil theme Angel/Devil or Good Cop/Bad Cop 3) Cowgirl. I'm not complaining because this holiday's sole purpose is to allow girls to dress as provocatively as possible without other girls calling them sluts. But c'mon, you put on a pair of horns and a red top and all of a sudden you're satan? Halloween has lost its originality.
White Sox win the WS. I thought I was going to feel good for them. I guess I was wrong.
Browns lost to the Texans, to the Texans.....to the Texans. Yes, to the Texans.
The Jackets have climbed into 3rd place. Never too early for their playoff push!
Grey's Anatomy is the new show. DH is out. Grey is in.
NBA season gets underway tomorrow. Buy stock in Armani and look for the new line of Roc-a-Wear suits.
Killa Cam gets shot and spits on a remix record 5 days later. That's why I rep for the Dipset. Check it out here.
Talan is the epitome of a loser. How do you fail to graduate high school in Laguna Beach? All the other characters seemed to do it easily. Classic loser response too..."I don't even care. I'm just going to get my G.E.D. Just as good." No it's not. Getting a GED is admitting you're a moron. If you don't get the GED and then start your own business and become successful, at least you have a rags to riches inspirational story. But he's obviously not coming from any rags. His best bet now is to start selling coke hardcore and get locked up for 3 years. That way he comes back with some street cred.
Professors who take attendance at 8 am classes have no soul.
Why did it take so long for sex offenders not being allowed to pass out candy to become a law?
The Blogger spell check is the worst in corrective spelling assistance history. Prime example...it doesn't consider the word "blog" as a word.
Short blog, move to come on Wed.

2005-10-17T18:53:00.000-04:00

For starters...Michelle Wie has to wear this to the next LPGA event, right? For those who aren't following with the joke, read me. Little something different this week, I'm feeling saucy and I'm going to start with Quick Hits...

White Sox advance to World Series, 'Stros hold 3-1 lead over Cardinals heading into tonight. Look for Houston to move on tonight, then the Sox to win the WS in 5 games with a total of 25 runs scored between the two teams. I've honestly been rooting for the south-siders since the playoffs began. Having the Indians win the division by 46 games next year will be that much more rewarding if the White Sox win it all this year.
The greatest college football saturday I've ever watched. Michigan scores on final play to beat Penn St. Florida St., Louisville (3OT), and Cal all upset. Wisconsin blocks a punt to win. UCLA wins in overtime to remain unbeaten. Oh yeah, USC/ND played in a pretty good one too. Bush is the second coming of The Juice.
D.H. Review. Know what? This show sucks now. STOP STARTING NEW STORY LINES WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE 26 LOOSE ENDS. It's almost as if the writers began scripting the new season without any idea of the direction they wanted the storylines to go and just said "Screw it, we're writing new ones." If it wasn't for the constant shots of Eva Longoria's cleavage, I was willing to bid this show adieu. Then again, I'm all talk and will be ready for next week's episode with a beer in hand.
The Blue Jackets have done a great job competing to be the worst team in the NHL. They've played six games, yet have two points. The Browns got smoked by the Ravens 16-3. With the Lions coming to town next week, getting back to .500 is not out of the question. On a bright note, the Buckeyes rallied to defeat Mich State. Special Teams and big plays are a bitch.
People on campus must be taking notes on this blog because I've got nothing to report in terms of clown behavior.

Powerball jackpot jumps to $340 million.

What you could buy with it...17 trips to space, 6415 '06 Hummer H2, 0 NFL teams (the Vikings is listed the cheapest at $658 mill), and a lot of gum.
It's funny how when you and some friends buy tickets you're convinced you're going to win. So you start seriously deciding what you're going to do with the money and how awesome your life is going to be post-powerball. You even start acting like you already won...blowing off class, running a three digit bar tab, buying hookers, going to A.C., putting a down payment on a 9 bedroom house, etc. Then, when you lose, you're absolutely devastated and realize your life sucks again and you must continue school. Anyway, when I win, this is the top 10 of what I'm buying (no particular order)...1) a new pair of jeans 2) a new pair of sneakers 3) Indians season tickets 4) a batting cage 5) a new shower curtain 6) a bottle of Sizzurp 7) the #7 lunch at La Tolteca 8) refill the CO2 tank for the kegerator 9) 3 packs of Upper Deck baseball cards 10) a 1 lb. box of Mike & Ikes

2005-10-13T10:52:00.000-04:00

Jeff Garcia is doing the nasty with this woman

In case you're not sure who this woman is, it's Carmella DeCesare. Playboy's '04 Playmate of the Year. I was recently watching an episode of The Girls Next Door, a terrific new reality show on the E! Network that follows around a few gals from the Playboy mansion, when Garcia suddenly appears. It was Carmella's birthday and some of the other playmates were throwing her a party at the Palms in Vegas. Ms. DeCesare arrives, with Jeff, the subtitle under Jeff is, "Jeff Garcia-NFL Quarterback-Carmella's Boyfriend." This is a mug shot of him after he got arrested for a DUI, blowing a .237%. This is a picture of her being a dime. This doesn't make sense. If you're confused as to why this guy going out with this girl is such a big deal, read more here. Moving on...

Quick Hits

The Browns win again and improve to 2-2 after defeating the lowly Bears. Face it Pec, your team is miserable. Meanwhile, the Cavs look pretty good in the preseason. I have a strong feeling LBJ is going to silence all those critics who say D-Wade has trumped him as the better player. Look for 30-8-8 this year from King James.
In other NBA news, Amare Stoudemire is out for 4 months. Finally, we'll get to see who the real MVP of the Suns was last season, when Nash is without his number one offensive option and can no longer oh-lay everyone on defense; expecting Amare to pick him up with a block.
Last night's ALCS game. THE BALL HIT THE GROUND. It's quick, but the ball glances off the dirt. The umpire made the right call. It's unfortunate that the rules are not clearer in terms of calling an out/foul tip vocally vs. signaling it with a arm gesture. Either way, Scioscia himself said that one play shouldn't have beat them. Side story: I met last night's hero, Joe Crede, 7 years ago at the Carolina League All-Star Game. Nice guy. You wanna see a large gathering of women in their 30's desperate to get laid? Just go to a minor league all-star game gala.
Hot new site for all you hip-hop fans. All the new videos, and ones not yet to air, here.
Laguna Recap: everyone's last prom, Kristin blew off Talan, Alex and Jason hooked up again, the limo had spinners, Taylor's boy rocked a hawky, Talan is a queen (of drama that is). Overall, not exciting episode. Next week looks good, as Jason steals Stephen and starts canoodling with LC.
D.H. Recap: This show is starting to spiral downward. Susan is pissing me and getting annoying. Bree's mother-in-law is a horrible character. Carlos and Tom aren't in the show often enough. The Applewhite's are shady bastards. Everything is going right to hell. Also, what was the deal when Bree was taking the lie detector test? She was watching the results of the test as she was taking it!?!? The law enforcement in this town has lost all credibility. D.H. better pick up by the time Family Guy returns on Nov. 6th.
Couple stories about my classes....I'm currently taking an elective, MAST 200- The Oceans, in which 90-95% of the students are freshman. Five of them had UD Crew jackets on today. You might as well put "I'm a Loser" on the back of your jacket instead. Is there anything else more obvious in college that signifies you as a loser than joining the crew team? Absolutely no experience or talent necessary, just the eagerness of being a freshman who lacks the ability to make friends and figures this is a perfect opportunity to gain both friendship and "cool" status on campus. Memo: that jacket doesn't make you cool all of sudden, neither does performing the same rowing motion 2,000 times at 5 am. Things that DO make you cool: drinking Mad Dogs and Beast Light, stealing stuff, blowing off class, selling drugs, being Denzel Washington, not being Jake Moloznik, betting on sports, shooting guns, wearing a leather jacket, giving the middle finger in pictures, driving a 1980s IROC-Z, going rawdog, cussing, and of course smoking Marlboro reds. It should be noted, however, that doing any of these things in excess will make you a loser.
My other elective, GEOG 101, is also a similar ratio of freshman. This class is as cake as it sounds. The other day I get an email from the professor he sent to the entire class stating, "in response to the high demand for tutors..." Uhhh, this reminds me of a scene in Tommy Boy... "And... what about seat belts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end and... you know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy will come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer because you're a reeetard." Seriously, if you need a tutor for this class, you're going to have a lot bigger problems down the road.
Classroom ettiqute critique: The rudeness of most students shocks me. Scenario: Two minutes until class ends. One person starts to pack his/her books up. Next thing you know, the entire classroom is getting their belongings together and the professor is having to yell over top of everyone as they don't pay attention. This is the epitome of being an asshole. Show some respect to the teacher.

2005-10-05T14:27:00.000-04:00

The Week From Hell
As you probably already know by now, the Tribe failed to make the playoffs. Several chances to win it, several chances to blow it. The "blow its" won. Going 1-6 the final week of the season is not going to help. I'm tired of hearing commentators and Baseball Tonight analysts use "their inexperience" and "youth" as excuses. Bottom line, this team controlled its own destiny right up until the last game of the season and they clammed up and started pressing. I could tell just by listening to the radio how uptight all their at-bats were. Swinging at 3-1 pitches out of the strikezone, not getting bunts down, hitting .115 with runners in scoring position, etc. Anyone who is a die-hard fan of any team knows what kind of indescribable emotional, mental, and physical toll a week like the Indians had feels like. Loving the Tribe is going to make more traditional emotional moments (graduating college, getting married, moving cross-country for a new job) a breeze. Many women don't understand why some guys are so passionate about their teams. It's because when they do win it all, the feeling of euphoria will be so great, you'll realize all the heartache and depression you suffered....was all worth it. Just ask any Red Sox fan. I end this segment with a bible verse: 1 Corinthians 10:13. I'm sure God didn't have your favorite team in mind, but it should give you something more than hope....it should give you faith.

Quick Hits

I threw myself a nice little pity party, didn't I?
The Browns didn't lose this week...neither did they play. Gotta look at the glass half full.
My fantasy team has a disease that fights against winning.
Laguna rattled off a couple good episodes. Jess has a new crush, Jeff, who is a total toolbox. Kristin hooked up with him sloppy drunk just to remind Jess who the alpha dog is. Stephen wants to get back with Kristin but she's not having it. I raise the question, shouldn't he be over her by now? And why does it appear he's going after LC now? How has he not layed pipe to over half the campus? The guy is apparently good looking enough to have dated Kristin for a year and he's a TV star. Forget those Laguna bimbos and start spreading your seed around San Fran.
D.H. update (from now on, D.H. stands for Desperate Housewives): It seems as though Rex might actually be dead. Then again, Shredder died in the first Ninja Turtles movie, only to return as Super Shredder in the next one. Watch out for Rex to return with a cape and a bunch of Bree's kitchen knives sticking out of his shoulder pads. One question, where does everyone get their money from? Tom and Lynette are the only household that is ever shown working. Susan works at home? WTF is that? When people say they work at home, they're just too embarrassed to admit they're the ones who send out those bulk emails with the pyramid schemes.
WWE had its homecoming on monday night, back on USA Network!...which they managed to sneak into their conversations every 30 seconds. Best part was watching the Rattlesnake stun the entire McMahon family, drinking about 10 beers in the process. According to a poll of WWE fans on the website, Stephanie was the most enjoyable to watch getting stunned. The pictures are kinda small, but you can holla at the larger versions here.
From now on, since half the people at this school are retarded, I will end Quick Hits with some thoughts on social etiquette. Similar to my cell phone rants. This week my subjects are Jake Moloznik and Michael Mahoney, aka two big douche-rockets. In class on tuesday, two groups presented for their respective chapters. These two assclowns whispered and giggled like school girls throughout the entire presentations! Then Mahoney had to the nerve to pass me a note like he was in 3rd grade and trying to date me or something. Have some respect for your fellow classmates. Unfortunately for me, both of these dickweeds are in my group. Never-the-less, I urge all of you to start talking loudly and ignoring them while they are giving their portion of the presentation.

2005-09-27T22:53:00.000-04:00

What is up with these cell phones?

(**Editor's Note** I would be discussing the Indians in this post, but they've lost two in a row, the playoff light is getting dimmer, I'm pissed off, and as a pouty 10 yr. old would say, "I don't wanna talk about it!")

Moving on...I hate to harp on this cell phone thing, but I've seen two things this past week that astounded me. First scene: In the gym at the 'Lil Bob. A guy blatantly stops in the middle of his set of military press to answer his cell phone. Second scene: Job Jamboree at the Big Bob. Girl interrupts the conversation she was having with a well-reknown company in order to answer her phone. It ends up being a friend that she tells, "she'll call right back." I wish I had a camera to capture the expression on the recruiters face. Guess what honey, you're not getting that job...dumbass. To me, the fact that these two individuals even had their cell phones on them at their respective times is mind boggling. But to actually answer them is insane.

Apparently there are no rules anymore. It's Thunderdome! For a lot of people, what they could be doing is a lot more important to what they are doing. That's not right. I've discussed this bad behavior with a friend, BJ Guttenplan (there, you happy?), who totally agrees. Envision your phone as "business." As a wise man once said, 'Don't mix business with pleasure.' Everyone put the phone down, take a step back, take a deep breath, and look around you.

Instead of talking on the phone the entire walk to class, leave it at home and revel in nature's beauty.

Instead of text messaging your B.F/G.F. during a teacher's lecture, take a nap instead.

Instead of downloading the hot new Game ringtone, just put it on vibrate so you don't make a huge scene everytime someone calls you...i.e. Pec & Josh.

Quick Hits

Everyone in the playoff chase lost tonight so my pain is slightly eased. I still demand perfection though.
I caught the premiere of Desperate Housewives. Rex is definitely faking his own death. Going back to last season, what credible doctor makes a phone call to tell a woman her husband died? Isn't that a face-to-face, sit-down kinda thing? Yes? No? Eva looked hotter than ever. I can totally see her being a huge bitch in real life too. Also, the new black dude neighbor is going to get Bree's daughter pregnant. Straight rawdog. I'm not trying to play on any stereotypes here, but the show certainly does and he gave her a little innocent wink when they met. You can hate me for ruining the surprise later.
My fantasy football team sucks.
My good friend Jake was nice enough to inform me that he didn't like my last post. In his own words, "It wasn't good. I was disappointed." Hey Jake, I don't give a (insert 4-letter word) about what you think. In fact, the Redskins blow, your girlfriend has A-cup breasts, you dick around at tailgates throwing the football for 2 hours just so you don't have to drink so you can "go out later", and you've always envied Mahoney for having more friends.

2005-09-20T20:49:00.000-04:00

AL Comeback Player of the Year
Before I dive into the 'quick hits', I want to discuss the comeback player of the year award in the American League. For the past three weeks all I've been hearing is "Jason Giambi this...", "Giambi that...", "Giambi is a lock for the comeback player award...". I beg to differ. Yes, Giambi has played better than anyone in baseball since returning this year and will probably even garner MVP votes. And yes, Giambi is helping to lead his team into the post season. And yes, Giambi has probably had intercourse with over half of NY, including guys...But all these things don't make him the comeback player of the year. Why? What exactly is he "coming back" from? Many will argue that a benign tumor in his pituitary gland is reason enough. But why did that tumor come about? Although the research on this is not 100 % certain, over half the doctors quoted on this subject said that anabolic steroids could likely have been the cause of the tumor. Even if there is just a little suspicion, why vote for him? How bout a fatass closer who's comeback from Tommy John surgery and is leading the AL in saves? That's right mo'fos, I'm talking about the Indians Bob Wickman. And I can guarantee you, he's never been on 'roids. Just look at the picture. He looks like he could put away a 30 rack of PBR and a couple tins of Copenhagen in a matter of hours. Vote for big Bobby.

Quick Hits:

I only caught the middle to end of Laguna last night so I'm not totally sure what the hell was going on. From what I saw, they were on spring break, in Cabo, getting drunk, and Alex was about to pummel poor Jess like something out of a Bruce Lee movie.
In case you missed it, the Browns actually won a game this past Sunday, 26-24 over GB. Romeo got his first win, Braylon got his first TD, and Dilfer is still losing his hair.
UD won again. Some innocent freshman was in the parking lot tailgating next to us with her parents. After the events that transpired, I have a feeling her dad is withdrawing her from this university.
The Tribe is tied with the White Sox in the 6th. I must go. Full report on playoff status in the coming days.

2005-09-13T23:46:00.000-04:00

New Format!
Ok, here's the deal. Each new posting will be equipped with several headlines. Under the headlines will be bullet points. Ranging in topics from the Indians to Rachel Ray's latest $40 a Day show. I encourage you to read the entire post, but I feel this will allow you to skim through the crap you don't want to waste your time on. Soooo, as Tony Yayo would say....."here we go!"

Wedge gets tossed as Broussard leads the Tribe comeback

You know you're a bad umpire when?.......some loser college guy can tell your strike zone sucks just by listening to the game on the radio. Which is the reason manager Eric Wedge was arguing with home plate umpire Larry Vanover, who eventually ejected him.
Broussard hit two homers in the game. A two-run job in the 7th to tie the game and a go-ahead three run dong in the 8th to seal it. Excellent work my friend.
The Indians win, along with the Yanks winning as well, keeps the Tribe 1.5 games ahead in the AL wild card standings.

Laguna Beach Sound Off

Finally got caught up on the show this evening. (had to miss last night's due to MNF. which was spectacular by the way. the browns and eagles have the same record! daaaah.)
What is Jason's deal? I can't figure out if he's a jerk/idiot or just genuinely doesn't care. Jessica and Alex M. are getting sooooo plaaaaaayed. For a guy who has absolutely no game except for his sweet chinstrap, he's got some nice pieces of tail wrapped around his finger.
The producers should mandate at least 3 hot tub/bathing suit scenes in every show.
Jessica might want to hit up an EPT test because her boobs were not that big in the last season. Although, she could be on the pill.
A few more things I'd like to point out. a) yes, I realize I'm a dude and watching this show will subject me to endless amounts of criticism from fellow dudes. b) I'm judging people on the show who are all vastly superior to me in looks, but, that's the beauty of a blog....so suck it. I'll try to weigh in on Laguna every week so all you lovely ladies will have something to look forward to.

Odds & Ends

Ever been walking infront or behind someone, on your way to class, and they are talking unnecessarily loud on their cellphone? Purposely talking that loud so other people around them can hear about how "cool" and "meaningful" their lives are? Two perfect examples:
A girl talking to her girlfriend "...OMG! Like, did you hear about Stacey and Matt? He, like, totally blew her off last night and now she's like totally upset and I'm like, 'I told you he was an ass'..."; "...I have like sooooooo much stuff to do today, it's insane. I have like three tests tomorrow, a nail appt. at 2, but I still want to go to Kates tonight because it's Lauren's b-day, etc. etc...."
A guy talking to his boy "...yo dude! I got so f-ing wasted last night! Seriously bro, Balloon was sick! I don't remember how I got home I was so tanked...."; "...that girl was slammin' bro! Did you hit dat?"
These are just a few examples. I'm sure we've all seen this type of assclown behavior exhibited before. Maybe you're one of the culprits. Guess what, NO ONE CARES! Get off the damn cellphone when you're in public and continue your "urgent" cellphone discussion in private. Common courtesy.
That being said, if any of you classmates see me acting in this manner, I give you full permission to punch me in the face on the spot. In return, I may do the same to you when you're caught being obnoxious.

2005-09-11T22:52:00.000-04:00

10:52...the entire raven nation just rejoiced, boller got hurt. wright comes in and promptly drives the team down the field. end of the third. colts up 17-0. funny commercial for careerbuilder.com. basically, any commercial with monkeys in it will evoke laughter. sadly, the game log must end. i'm on my roommates computer and he just scored a password to a sweet new porn site that he's been dying to peep out.

2005-09-11T22:28:00.000-04:00

10:08...halftime in the football game, it's a slugfest 3-0 colts. i'll take this time to express my disgust with this university. setting: saturday 11:30 am, parking lot of fred rust ice arena. event: ud football tailgate. 6 cases of keystone, over 100 jello shots, and one goal...drink them. problem: ud police kick us out until 3 pm, when the parking "officially opens." that's b.s., most big schools have people tailgating starting thursday for saturday games. the best part about getting kicked out was it warranted the lieutenant of ud police coming to explain the rule. who, i must say, was jacked and very intimidating. he could've taken down the seven of us in about 20 seconds. needless to say, we accomplished our goal, but roselle will be getting a call this week.

2005-09-11T21:58:00.000-04:00

9:58...joe morgan just made a comment regarding a young man's "first times." insinuating you never forget your first major league base hit or your first "girl." jon miller covered his ass though by saying "girlfriend, right?" high comedy. i remember my first "girl", she cost $475 and enjoys dancing on stage with stainless steel poles in the middle of them. she wasn't a big fan of wearing clothing either.

2005-09-11T21:11:00.000-04:00

9:12....quick rundown of this week's NFL action. i watched all the games at Buffalo Wild Wings. great place, cheap beer, attractive waitstaff, and all the d-bag pittsburgh fans you can ask for.
NE over OAK...not sure if "moss jump ball" is the actual play call, but it was attempted on every set of downs.
JAC over SEA...jimmy smith is ageless.
NO over CAR...feel good story of the week. even if you don't like football, you gotta pull for these guys for the rest of the season. my ernie conwell jersey is on order.
WASH over CHI...i'd rather get a root canal than watch that game again.
BUFF over HOU...carr had 9 completions for 70 yds, ouch.
PITT over TEN...in contrast, in addtion to being a wigger, big ben had 9 completions for 218, whaaaammmy.
TB over MIN...cadillac is the real deal.
MIA over DEN...shoulda kept clarett, coulda been the difference (insert wide-eye sarcastic face here)
KC over NYJ...pennington sucks.
SF over STL...so does mike martz.
DAL over SD...here we go again, everyone jump back on the cowboys band wagon.
NYG over ARI...the g-men scored 42 points, despite eli's incompetence.
DET over GB...why do all the commentators still think Favre is the second coming of Christ? newsflash, he's old and he sucks. whenever he makes a dumbass pass that gets picked, the commentators say something like "he's just trying to make something happen" or "he'll usually make that pass but the o-line needs to give him more time." how bout, "aaron rogers should be the starter."
CIN over CLE...i save the best for last...looks like the browns are well on their way to my 3-13 prediction. i wonder how Leinart will adjust to the cold cleveland weather....

2005-09-11T21:02:00.000-04:00

9:03...kyle boller is single-handily keeping the ravens from being an elite team every year. the ravens should have a new promotion every week. "play QB for a half." i guarantee the fat guy in the stands drinking beer could put up comparable numbers.

2005-09-11T20:51:00.000-04:00

8:52...this is getting out of hand. Belliard leisurely rounds the bases, 10-0. mercifully, the second inning ends. football check..huh, that's weird, Peyton Manning getting mad at reciever for not catching a pass. is it just me or is every incompletion not his fault? i hate that guy (and his brother)...edge stopped short on fourth down. ravens D looks pretty nice. ray lewis could bring a knife to a gun fight and still come out on top....oh wait, that's already happened.

2005-09-11T20:46:00.000-04:00

8:46...Sizemore just added to the lead with a dinger, 6-0. I'll use this post to announce my man-love for Grady. He's dreamy.

2005-09-11T20:31:00.000-04:00

My first post, how exciting! For this special occasion I will write a live game log tracking the Indians vs. Twins game on ESPN2. Also commenting on the Colts/Ravens game on ESPN.

And we're off....

8:37...Tribe is beatin' dat ass, 4-0 after the first inning. If this pace keeps up then the football game will quickly become the topic of conversation. Speaking of football, UD pulled out a sqeaker last night. The way Cuff played, every professor should give him a free pass for the semester. No tests, no attendance, just football.